Soul Mates of a different kind
by GoldenGirl
Summary: A Spike fic about his love for Buffy and what he'd ultimately do do against all odds.


It's funny, the term soul mates. People can call themselves 'love birds' or 'sweethearts', it all means the same thing, but everyone always chooses to say 'soul mates.' It's a powerful term expressing all the love between two people in two simple words. Nothing beats that term. I can love someone with all of my heart and no one would ever refer to me as someone's soul mate. It's a cruel punishment and sadly befitting to me. But just because I don't have a soul doesn't mean I don't deserve to love someone.

They don't seem to understand that. I wish she never told any of them about us. We had our own little secret and it was wonderful. We weren't basking in fields of love but it was as close as I could ever get with her. With a slayer. My exact opposite- she was everything I wasn't and I had her. She might say she doesn't love me but that's a lie. Why would she come to me everyday, every night, every minute she could? 

But she stopped coming. 

When she broke it off I thought she was being dead serious. She called me William and it had me scared out of my mind. I felt like I was going to loose my mind for five days. FIVE DAYS. That's all it took before she came crawling back asking for more. I wasn't going to be a jerk about it either. She was my princess and I was her willing servant. That was the best night of my life until she began to cry. She lay next to me crying. While she would weep I pretended to sleep. Pretended not hear a peep out of her and I couldn't bear it. She left that morning and when I went by her place that night I was thrown out by Xander. Xander of all people. 

She had told him and Willow about us. About our secret treasure. I sat on my ass on the front lawn listening to Xander's yelps while blood trickled down my nose. He was angry with me- angrier then I've ever seen him. I thought he was going to kill me right then and there if it wasn't for Dawn standing in the doorway. How can someone be that angry about love? How can the happiest emotion known to man stir up the worst? As I sat there I looked up to Buffy's window, right above my view of Xander's head. She was there- looking at me. Just sitting there. She looked sad though. I thought I saw tears in her eyes but I was too far to tell. I got up lazily and stood on my two feet again. I wasn't going to try to fight Xander because I knew I couldn't that would be a waste. So I left.

I didn't stray too far though. Right now it's late and every house is dark and sleeping. I stand outside her house and look at her window as I did hours earlier. Xander left about 2 hours ago but I'm still hesitant about going in. I wait until everybody inside is asleep and dreaming. I break into Buffy's front door easily and slowly make my way up the stairs. I open her door and see her sleeping soundly under the sheets. I love her the most when she's asleep and at peace. I sit on her bed and my weight wakes her up. She doesn't scream or call for help. I know she would never fear me after what we've been through together. She sits up and looks in eyes. As I touch her face I wonder if she's tld the others everything- if she's told them I can hurt her. My hand slids from her cheek to her neck smoothly and it chills her.

Just because I don't have a soul doesn't mean I don't love. I love more than they will ever know. I love with my unbeating heart and all the cold blood running through my veins. A soul gives you conscious. It's only purpose is to set you back and make you think too much. You're not supposed to think when you're in love. When you see love you run at it and you're blind to every thing else. All you feel is passion and lust. That's all you're supposed to feel. 

I begin to kiss her and she doesn't pull away. She closes her eyes as my mouth makes it's way to her exposed neck. I don't even feel my face morph but I notice it when my fangs touch my lips. I open my mouth wide and dig them into her neck. She doesn't pull away- not once. Her warm blood feels my mouth and it courses through my body once I swallow it. I haven't had human blood in such a long time but this pays for it all. I stop myself quickly when I realize her body is limp in arms. I look at her and her eyes open lazily to show me she's sill there. She's waiting. I bite my own wrist and let drops of my blood into her mouth, feeding her.

 They said I could never be someone's soul mate. I can never be hers. So thinking about them, I take her soul and smile happily. I'm not the only one without a soul now. And we can be called soul mates of a different kind. 


End file.
